Becoming Who You Want To Be

Becoming Who You Want To Be

Becoming the person you have always wanted to be, is a long process. It requires you to make a promise to yourself every night before bed that tomorrow you will try again, and it requires you to act on that promise every morning. It’s not an easy promise to keep to ourselves, and oftentimes it’s one we won’t keep. But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to be the person you always wanted to be.

But getting back at it and motivating yourself to try again becomes easier when you have the following things in mind: a reason behind why you want to become that person, consistency and a core set of values. Here’s a little bit more of an explanation as to why you need these three things in your life when you are trying to become the person you have always wanted to be.

1)      Establishing a ‘Why’

Why do you want to be this person? To live a happier life? Perhaps, to live a more balanced life? To be more present? The process of becoming the person you always wanted to be is challenging and exhausting but having a solid reason as to why you are becoming this version of yourself can save you in more ways than you know. When things get tough, or you feel like giving up, having that ‘why’ to catch you is crucial to continuing the lifelong journey of becoming who you want to be. Starting things without creating a solid foundation first, often leads to things falling apart faster than you wanted.

2)      Consistency

In most endeavours in life, people will tell you that consistency is key. It also applies to this matter and is one of the few ideas I try to follow every single day. When creating anything, a project, an idea and yourself keeping up consistent habits that you know add a tremendous amount of value and joy to your life is key. Doing those all the time is the tricky part, but I can tell you that forcing yourself to keep up healthy habits, whatever they may be, is key to becoming the person you want to be. Eventually, they will become second nature and you will be one step closer to being that version of yourself that you know you can be.

3)      Establish a clear set of values

When envisioning this version of yourself, it’s easy to imagine where they will be living, wearing, eating, who they will be surrounding themselves with, etc. But as we all know, life is a lot more complex than that and can throw a few curveballs at you. Through time, that ideal version of you might change or evolve and that’s completely okay. Adjust, pivot, try new habits that would align with that version, even if it’s not the one you started with. More often than not, pivoting and readjusting is a lot easier when you have a clear list of values that you want to live by. Values can change, everything does, but more often than not our core values are with us for the long haul. Having a clear idea of those core values can allow you to work towards that person you want to become, but also allow you to change course whenever you want or feel the need to. Because you aren’t changing absolutely everything, just the direction but not the core of who you are (but between you and me, you can change that too – it’s your life after all).

The journey is tough but you can do it. You can and are allowed to be the person you have always dreamed of being.

Show Up For Yourself

Show Up For Yourself

Last week, I was on a blissful high – I was happy, motivated, energized and springing out of bed in the morning. This week however, I can barely get myself to crawl out of bed in the morning. I feel unmotivated, tired, sad, and spaced out. What changed between last week and this week? I spent a few hours this morning racking my brain trying to understand what had changed. Then it dawned on me, I wasn’t showing up for myself.

I wasn’t doing the things I know I need to do to be the best and happiest version of myself.

I wasn’t moving my body, even though I knew it benefitted my mental and physical health in a lot of ways.

I wasn’t creating a balance in my schedule between work things and things that brought me joy.

I wasn’t eating food that fueled my body.

In short, I wasn’t showing up for myself like I had the week before. I knew very well how I would feel if I decided to do what was good for me, but I still didn’t do it. Why? Because I decided that not doing those things was the easier option. Maybe it was in the short-term, but in the long-term it just made me feel worse.

 Showing up for yourself is a decision you have to make every single morning. You have to decide to take care of yourself, to do what you love when you can, to eat whatever makes you feel best. You have to choose to be the best version of yourself – it doesn’t just happen to you.

When you want something, you have to actively go after it. You need to get the ball rolling if you will, or else nothing will happen. If you want to be happier, live a more authentic life or just be more present in the one you have, then you need practice every single day. You have to make choices that will lead you to that lifestyle that you want.

I challenge you to try and show up for yourself, because when you do, I can guarantee you that you will feel a whole lot better.

Start by analyzing the habits and routines that make you feel best and choose to stick to them.  A big part of this is you choosing to prioritize what makes you happy over everything else. Obviously, this is not always possible, but you have to choose to find even 5 minutes in your week to show up for yourself. 

The Concept of a ‘Happy Life’

Why do we create this idea that living life to the fullest is synonymous with always being happy? That idea could not be farther from the truth and it’s unrealistic to expect our lives to always be happy.

What I have come to learn, is that living life to the fullest does not always mean you will be happy.

Life needs to include feeling all the sad, hurtful, and painful things that come our way.

Living life to the fullest means dealing with the messy and complicated situations we find ourselves in.

Living life to the fullest is not living each day as if it were a movie or an Instagram story.

You are meant to experience a multitude of situations, emotions, and circumstances.

I used to think that to live a happy life, everything around me had to be perfect. But as you will eventually come to understand, that is not what it means to live a happy life. Living a happy life is one where you feel and experience struggle, hardships, and difficult situations and yet, you have the ability to try and find moments of joy in those hardships.  

Don’t think that your life is terrible because you haven’t lived every day perfectly, or you don’t feel happy every day. It is completely normal to feel tired, exhausted, sleepy, anxious, agitated, irritated, etc., and at the same time experience moments of joy. But living your best life means feeling those things and learning how to deal with them. It means addressing issues that are hard to face but also finding the lessons and joys that will come out of it.

No matter how hard things get, there will always be a joy. Sometimes you might just have to look for it a little harder than usual, but that is life. Life is not just one or the other, it is a complex combination of every emotion you could think of. It’s exhausting but loving; It’s tiring but inspiring; It’s difficult but also full of joy.

You do not have to feel amazing every day; you do not have to feel horrible every day. But the key to living your best life is to understand that those two feelings can co-exist and that doesn’t make your life bad, it just makes it real and authentic.