Creating Your Own Opportunities

Creating Your Own Opportunities

In the past few months, I have been noticing an interesting trend where people lament their lives because there aren’t enough opportunities for them.

Maybe we need to start changing how we understand opportunities. For so long, we assumed or were led to believe that once we’re old enough, the right opportunities would come our way. Flash forward a few years, and you will quickly come to realize that opportunities don’t just fall into your lap. If anything, they come by once in a blue moon and are fleeting.

Then there’s a rude awakening that makes you realize you have to go out and create your opportunities because they will not come knocking at your door. The idea that you have to create things out of thin air is daunting. But you’re in a tiny bit of luck because starting to create opportunities for yourself just requires energy, effort, and patience. All things you have probably already have!

If you have no idea where to start, here are a few steps you can take to start creating the opportunities you want in your life.

1) Figure out what you want

There’s no use in trying to create something when you have no idea what you want. Take your time researching, reflecting, and picturing what kind of opportunities you want in your life.

2) Putting yourself out there

Again, nothing will come knocking on your door. It is up to you to get yourself out there. How? Well, it might look different for everyone. For some, it might mean volunteering, networking, applying to jobs, meeting other like mine people who want similar things to you. For others, it could be starting their own business, organization, etc.  

3) Creating opportunities

Sometimes all it takes is one simple claim, email, question or answer to set off an opportunity. But at the very basis of it all, you need to try. For example, the job I currently have is thanks to me sending one email just prying and trying to see if I could volunteer. Nothing crazy, but that one email led to a few more and then a zoom call and now I have a job. I had to put myself out there and dare to just ask one simple question.

Creating opportunities in your life is not some giant momentous occasion, it is small little actions that you take every single day, 

Somewhere between one point and another, people forget that if you want something to happen, more likely than not, you have to go out and get it done yourself. The world is not waiting around, trying to find the right time to give you an opportunity. It’s entirely up to you what opportunities you go out into the world and create.

Does this mean it’s easy? No. But that’s the entire point, nothing easy ever really just happens. Opportunities do not appear out of thin air.

Opportunities require effort, energy, time and putting yourself out there.

Taking Up Space

Taking Up Space

Taking up space – the one thing I am terrible at and have to work on consistently.

I never liked it when people took up too much space. When they sucked all the air out of the room and encroached on my personal bubble. As a response to this type of character, I spent my entire life trying not to be that person. What happened instead was that I did everything I could to minimize myself, make myself as small as possible and basically try to erase myself from any room I walked into.

It’s easy now to look back and point to the fact that I was shy, scared, or lacked confidence. Although, my go-to defence was that I was an introvert and I liked to listen more than I talked.

But as time passed, and I slowly started gaining more confidence, this inner conflict kept brewing. Should I speak up? Should I say what I think? Should I hide away in a corner and make myself small? Should I let the extroverts talk and silence myself? All these questions were at the forefront of my mind anytime I was in a social situation.

The root cause of these questions and the emotions I was feeling took a while for me to understand. What I was doing was perhaps a form of self-sabotage rooted in a lack of confidence, but at the end of the day I truly believed that I wasn’t allowed to take up space in this world.

I believed that if I took up any space, then I was encroaching on someone else’s space. Not yet understanding the idea that we are all here, and therefore we are all allowed to take up the space we are given. There is a clear difference between encroaching on someone else, and just taking up the space granted to you as a human being on this planet.

What took me years to learn, and is something I still remind myself daily, is that I am allowed to take up space. As long as I am not disrupting or encroaching on other people’s space, I am allowed to take it up. I am allowed to be here; I am allowed to exist in this space however I want.

So here is my small piece of wisdom to you all: You are here on this planet, therefore you are allowed to exist and take up space. You are not a waste of space, you do not need to make yourself small to accommodate others, you can be here and be yourself.

What Not Writing For Over A Month Taught Me

What Not Writing For Over A Month Taught Me

It’s been over a month since I have sat down to write something. Beyond your basic email or paragraph, I have not written anything down.

That time and space I’ve taken from writing have allowed me to understand my relationship with writing in a way I had never considered it before. For one thing, I had never truly appreciated writing until I took this impromptu break from it. Writing has not only become a way for me to express myself, but also a way for me to process information, think through new ideas and connect old ones.

You might be thinking that I sound a tad bit dramatic at this point, after all, plenty of people stop writing altogether after high school, aside from the basics. But when writing becomes such an intricate part of how you cope with life, not doing that activity can have a lot of negative impacts on you. Not having writing in my life dramatically impacted my mental health in ways I still don’t quite understand.

My time spent away from writing taught me to not only appreciate writing but use it as a resource and a tool to guide me through life. Without writing, I felt like I was floating and never truly grounded at the moment. A moment would pass, and it was as if it floated away too quickly, I would never get the chance to hold onto it. Writing allows me to process those moments, cherish them and above all, remember them.

There is something so relieving about putting pen to paper or typing your thoughts away on a keyboard that unless you cope with life this way, you may not understand.

This mini-break also made me realize how harsh and critical I was of my writing. I liked my voice and the tone that I used, but if someone didn’t then for some reason their perception of me became my reality. I learned that I put a lot of pressure on myself when I did write and that if I was simply writing a blog post it had to contain all the wisdom of the ages in it – spoiler alert, it doesn’t need to. The posts that I wrote from the heart, that detailed my experiences or even small snippets of lessons I had learned along the way were always the ones that resonated more with people.

I wish I had kept writing since the last time I posted here, but I haven’t. But it still taught me that writing is a part of me. That is not to say I am branding myself as a writer, but I am someone who writes. I am someone who writes to learn, to process, to understand, to think and to connect. Writing is so instrumental in my every day-to-day life, that it baffles my mind how little I used to appreciate it.

So to anyone who has stepped away from something they love for a while, here is your reminder to get back to it. It will make a world of a difference, I promise.

Why It’s Difficult To Sit With Our Thoughts

Why It’s Difficult To Sit With Our Thoughts

In the past few months, I have noticed how any time I am faced with a situation that I know I need to sit with for a while, I immediately gravitate towards my phone. My solution to not facing my problems has been to just continuously scroll on my phone for hours on end or do anything at all to avoid sitting alone with my thoughts. Which, if you know me, you know is not something I preach. I believe that it’s important to sit alone with your thoughts. I think it’s fundamentally important to check in with yourself and what’s going on in your brain.

These last few weeks, I have been doing the opposite of checking in with myself and I wasn’t sure why until this morning.

I woke up earlier than usual and by habit, I rolled over to check the time on my phone and immediately opened Instagram. I had been barely awake for 15 seconds and I was already scrolling on an app. This time around, I caught myself in the act and paused for a moment. When did I become this person? When did I start scrolling through my phone 15 seconds after waking up? Why do I do it?

I put my phone down and stared up at the ceiling for a bit and just let myself be. My mind started racing and listing all my to-dos and anxieties for the day and then jumped straight into the negative self-talk and internal arguing. Once again, I caught myself in an act I wasn’t so proud of. When did my internal monologue get to be so rude? Pessimistic? Negative?

You see, what I have come to realize is that I am not necessarily ignoring sitting alone with my thoughts. I was doing that because I couldn’t handle the negative self-talk that was happening, and my temporary solution was to ignore absolutely everything. Whether it was reading, scrolling for hours on my phone or just watching endless YouTube videos, I was adamant about avoiding the harsh mental space I was going through.

Contrary to popular belief, we don’t avoid sitting alone with our thoughts because it’s boring or lonely.  We avoid sitting alone with our thoughts because we most likely know how bad we have let it get in our heads.

When we see the missteps we’ve made, or how we slacked on our mental health, our immediate reaction is to run from that realization – at least that’s how it is for me. We run because we feel as if too much time has passed and the conversation and space, we have created for ourselves in our head can never be fixed. But that notion couldn’t be further from the truth.

Even the act of realizing that we are avoiding something inside ourselves shows that you are still doing the work.

Sitting alone with our thoughts isn’t an easy thing, so we need to remind ourselves to do it a bit more often, so it doesn’t pile up and become unbearable. But do remember, we are all human. It’s normal to avoid our inner thoughts, scroll on Instagram and then realize that something isn’t right. It’s normal to be scared of facing our fears, but what’s important is that you realize them and address them.

So, if you haven’t sat with your thoughts in a while, here is your daily reminder to do so.

What If?

What If?

I’ve been thinking lately about what could have been. What would happen if I didn’t run in the opposite direction? What if I just took that one step? What if I was bold? What would my life look like if I had done certain things?

I think we all get lost in the ‘what if?’ question from time to time and so many people will tell you to not dwell on what could have been, but it’s not that simple. Of course, we are going to wonder what would have happened if we had just done one thing differently. It’s normal to wonder and to think about how things could have gone differently.

So, for a few moments, I want to create a small space where you can freely wonder what would have happened. Not because I think it’s healthy to dwell on the things we can’t change, but so that you can learn from those what if moments.

Take a few seconds and let yourself think of that one ‘what if’ moment that is always in the back of your mind. Reflect a bit, think about it and now take a step back from it. Would you change anything about what you did? It doesn’t do anything to dwell on what others could have done differently, but instead, it’s more fruitful for you to think about what you would change. Whatever you would change about that moment, remember it and turn it into a lesson to save for your future self.

People often forget that there is a lot to learn from questioning or examining what we could have or should have done. From my personal experience, when I look back at those big ‘what if’ moments, I have noticed that they all lead back to the fact that I wasn’t bold enough. I would let fear take over and dictate my actions even if it wasn’t what I wanted. But when I return to those what if moments, I remember how I felt, and I can learn how not to do that anymore. I can understand where that fear came from and knowing that means I can try and react differently to it next time.

I am not suggesting drowning yourself in the what if moments of your life, but I think there is something to be learnt from those moments. Tossing it to the wind takes away a chance to grow and change that would be beneficial for us.

Once you understand and have learned from the ‘what if’ moments, it’s time to put it to rest. You have learned all that you could from that moment and dwelling on it won’t do much. It happened, and now you have given yourself the chance to learn from it and that is what matters the most.

Books You Need To Read Part 2

Books You Need To Read Part 2

By now, you have probably noticed that I tend to read a lot, and all that reading means that I have gone through quite a few books. But, as every reader will know, there are usually only a select few that stand out to us enough to recommend. So here we are again with yet another roundup of the books I have read recently. You can find some more recommendations from my last post here. Let me know if you have read any of these or are planning to read them!

1)      The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

Are you in the mood for a good rom-com? Are office enemies one of your favourite tropes? Do you love reading witty and quick banter? The Hating Game by Sally Thorne centers around the epic enemy/friendship situation between Lucy Hutton and Joshua Templeman in an office setting. With an abundance of witty banter, not-so-charming and some much-needed hard-hitting realizations, this book is a must-read for all those who love a good rom-com.

2)      The Jane Austen Society by Natalie Jenner

I love Jane Austen just as much as the next person, but I think I love the world she created even more – and of course, the readers who interact with it. The Jane Austen Society follows a group of people who have been brought together for their love of Jane Austen. Coming from all different backgrounds, who would never normally cross each other, they come together to save Jane Austen’s legacy and preserve it for generations to come. If you are in the mood for a good comfort read, then you should pick this book up. Make sure to prepare yourself a cup of tea while you read this book on a rainy day.

3)      Take Me Home Tonight by Morgan Matson

Morgan Matson is one of my favourite YA authors so naturally, I had to pick up this book the week it came out. Take Me Home Tonight centers around two inseparable best friends, who get separated one night in New York City and set off on their adventures for the first time. The story explores growing up, change and figuring out that what you want might change and that is okay. I love Morgan Matson and truly wish I could live the adventures her characters go through, just because it’s YA doesn’t mean there isn’t something for everyone. Take a fun and crazy overnight trip to New York City and allow yourself to be swept away by the adventure of it all.

4)      Sparks Like Stars by Nadia Hashimi

Sparks Like Stars centers around a young girl who sees her entire family killed in Afghanistan during the Soviet invasion. Her entire world as she knows it is completely taken away from her, but one guard sneaks her off to the home of a US embassy employee. Their goal is to get her to America as quickly as possible without being seen, for fear that she might not be safe. Throughout the book, we learn about the trauma she endures, the effects of harsh realities hitting her at such a young age and what it means to grieve the loss of your loved ones. Sparks Like Stars has to be one of the most heartbreaking but necessary reads for everyone and anyone. The resilience, grit and determination that the main character shows are admirable and tremendously terrifying. Ultimately, the reality of so many children caught in the middle of a war they didn’t create. It is simply a must-read for everyone.

If you need a few more recommendations, here are some books I am planning on buying for Summer 2021:

– That Summer by Jennifer Weiner

– People we meet on vacation by Emily Henry

– Meet you in the middle by Devon Daniels

– Siege & Storm by Leigh Bardugo

Becoming Who You Want To Be

Becoming Who You Want To Be

Becoming the person you have always wanted to be, is a long process. It requires you to make a promise to yourself every night before bed that tomorrow you will try again, and it requires you to act on that promise every morning. It’s not an easy promise to keep to ourselves, and oftentimes it’s one we won’t keep. But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to be the person you always wanted to be.

But getting back at it and motivating yourself to try again becomes easier when you have the following things in mind: a reason behind why you want to become that person, consistency and a core set of values. Here’s a little bit more of an explanation as to why you need these three things in your life when you are trying to become the person you have always wanted to be.

1)      Establishing a ‘Why’

Why do you want to be this person? To live a happier life? Perhaps, to live a more balanced life? To be more present? The process of becoming the person you always wanted to be is challenging and exhausting but having a solid reason as to why you are becoming this version of yourself can save you in more ways than you know. When things get tough, or you feel like giving up, having that ‘why’ to catch you is crucial to continuing the lifelong journey of becoming who you want to be. Starting things without creating a solid foundation first, often leads to things falling apart faster than you wanted.

2)      Consistency

In most endeavours in life, people will tell you that consistency is key. It also applies to this matter and is one of the few ideas I try to follow every single day. When creating anything, a project, an idea and yourself keeping up consistent habits that you know add a tremendous amount of value and joy to your life is key. Doing those all the time is the tricky part, but I can tell you that forcing yourself to keep up healthy habits, whatever they may be, is key to becoming the person you want to be. Eventually, they will become second nature and you will be one step closer to being that version of yourself that you know you can be.

3)      Establish a clear set of values

When envisioning this version of yourself, it’s easy to imagine where they will be living, wearing, eating, who they will be surrounding themselves with, etc. But as we all know, life is a lot more complex than that and can throw a few curveballs at you. Through time, that ideal version of you might change or evolve and that’s completely okay. Adjust, pivot, try new habits that would align with that version, even if it’s not the one you started with. More often than not, pivoting and readjusting is a lot easier when you have a clear list of values that you want to live by. Values can change, everything does, but more often than not our core values are with us for the long haul. Having a clear idea of those core values can allow you to work towards that person you want to become, but also allow you to change course whenever you want or feel the need to. Because you aren’t changing absolutely everything, just the direction but not the core of who you are (but between you and me, you can change that too – it’s your life after all).

The journey is tough but you can do it. You can and are allowed to be the person you have always dreamed of being.

Closure

Closure

I used to believe that closure was a given. But, throughout the past few years, I have realized that that perspective was a tad naïve. If anything, closure is reserved for the lucky situations and more often than not, people never get the closure they deserve.

Closure is not guaranteed, so why do we constantly assume it’s something we will get?

The fact that life happens in mysterious and complicated ways is not a new idea. We accept that sometimes things don’t go according to plan, people leave us, or we sometimes don’t get the proper chance to say goodbye to a person or a place. We accept all these things, but still, we are left in some sort of limbo when we don’t get the closure we crave.

Closure is not guaranteed, but it’s also a vital part of what comes after. It’s a vital component to the moving on “equation”, yet somehow, it’s not always a part of the equation that is fulfilled.

Closure and I are currently in that limbo phase, where I know full well, I will not get the closure that I want but I am still expecting it to happen. In just under two weeks, I will be graduating with my Bachelor’s degree. However, due to covid restrictions, I won’t be able to have a “normal” graduation. I won’t get to celebrate with family and friends, nor will I be able to walk across the stage and get that feeling of accomplishment. I will be sitting in my basement staring at a list of names running up the screen and that’s it.


The goal isn’t to make you feel bad for me. I am truly grateful to be graduating and for everything that has happened in the last four years. But I would be lying if I didn’t tell you how disappointed I am not to be getting those specific moments of closure.

For a few months, my way of dealing with the fact that I won’t get the closure I want was to forget that the last four years had even happened. I finished my last course in the Fall and then decided to toss away all the blood, sweat and excess tears that I poured into school. If I wasn’t going to get the closure that I wanted, then I was just going to ignore the entire situation altogether. Now, I understand that you can’t deal with a disappointing situation by ignoring what led you to it.

So, what now? How do I find the closure I so desperately need and still move on with my life? The answer isn’t simple, it’s rather messy.

Just because you don’t get that definite moment of something coming to an end doesn’t mean that you can’t begin to move on.

What I have come to understand is that letting yourself move on without the pretty tied bow of closure might just be the only way you can create a sense of closure for yourself. So often we think we need closure to move past what was happening, but closure is not a pitstop in the road. Closure is a journey, it’s something you have to work through and take with you as you advance in your life.

Closure, in its definite sense, is not guaranteed. But just because you don’t get that one moment where it all comes together and ends perfectly doesn’t mean you can never experience closure. It just means that you need to sit with the idea of closure a little bit longer and most likely brings it on the journey with you to the next thing. Closure can come to us in different ways, if I have learned anything it’s that closure doesn’t come in one neat little package. Oftentimes, it’s something we have to create ourselves.

How The Book Industry Has Changed

How The Book Industry Has Changed

When I was young, I absolutely hated reading. My parents would have to set a timer and practically force me to sit down and read, but anyone who knows me now and sees my reading habits, would not think that little kid and I were the same person.

When I started high school, books became an escape for me. I would sit for hours on weekends and read my books. I loved reading, and I wish I could tell you when exactly I shifted towards becoming a book lover, but all I know is that I have not stopped reading since.

Since I have been an avid reader for a solid decade or more at this point, I have come to notice that a lot of things in the book industry have changed. Not only have I started to notice so many more books are being published, but also the types of books being published has changed so much.

The other day I was browsing my local bookstore, which I had not been to in months, and I came across the YA section, which quite honestly is not a section I peruse often anymore. But something called me to that section, and I felt 15 again, except the bookshelves looked different than how I remembered them. The stories that were being displayed were different, diverse, intricate but also very real. Suddenly fiction was portraying a very true reality and I find its not something that was prioritized in the YA section when I was growing up.

Going through the rest of the store finally made me realize how much has changed in our society. I am not saying we have become perfect, but I would like to think that our bookstores can become a reflection of our general ideas and perspectives as a society. Books being published now are so much more nuanced, complex, but fun and different. Its much harder to pick up two of the same books, even if they are based on the same trope.

All this to say, things are changing. Whenever I get discouraged about the world around me, I think I need to go to a bookstore. It isn’t perfect, and they are still works of fiction. But fiction is often a lens people can use to relate to a story or experience, they themselves would never have experienced.

The book industry has changed a lot in the last ten years, and I hope it continues to do so. I hope that every single person, from every single walk of life can walk into it and see something they can relate to or open a book and read about something they would have never thought of. That is how we grow, change and progress as a society. I know the publishing industry is far from perfect, but I am happy to see that there is a shift in what is published and the stories that get told. 

Showing Up for Others

Showing Up for Others

A few weeks ago, I talked about how we need to start showing up for ourselves more, and I wholeheartedly believe you should always show up for yourself. But something else I have been reflecting on is how our generation tends to be when it comes time to show up for others in our communities.

You see, we sometimes lean towards showing up for ourselves more than we show up for others. During specific times in our lives, this makes perfect sense. We tend to forget that there is an entire world out there that needs us to actively be a part of it.

How do we find the balance between showing up for ourselves but also showing up for those around us when the time comes?

One example I turn to is the older generation, and by that, I mean the grandparents of the world. When you look at our grandparents, they are the first people to be by your side when you need them. When you call, they will come. They believe that it is important to show up for the people and things that are important to us, and I think our generation has to learn something from this. It’s not a hidden fact that older people, in general, tend to show up and participate more in events, civic duties, etc. and they show up happily. So why can’t we do that as well?

It’s not to say that we don’t, but sometimes I don’t think we do it enough. I don’t think it’s just because of social media. I think we don’t show up because it would mean committing to something in a way, we don’t have to that often. Yes, we can commit to our jobs, school and perhaps a few other things. But, showing up for others just seems like a step we have a hard time taking.

Here’s the thing, as the world progresses and continues to be as chaotic as it currently is, showing up for other people might need to become just as important as showing up for yourself. Once you get in the habit of showing up for yourself and taking care of yourself, it becomes a lot easier to be there for other people in your community.

But we have to remember that we are part of this world, this country, and this community. We actively play a role in society, whether we show up or not. But showing up makes a much bigger impact on everyone’s lives, including your own. We are also reaching a point in time where we can’t afford to not show up for others.

So today, I am challenging you to reflect for a bit. Think about how you engage with your community and how you can show up for others. Do the internal work of showing up for yourself and once you feel ready, remember it’s equally important to show up for others.

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome – or as I would like to call it, the voice in the back of your head that just won’t shut up. You know the voice, the one where it tells you how unqualified you are, how you are not smart or even that one day you will be exposed as a fraud. This might sound familiar to a lot of women across the board, which speaks volume to just how apparent it is in our society.

I am not going to give you tips and tricks on how to deal with imposter syndrome. The internet does an excellent job of providing you with a bullet point list of all the things you can do to help mitigate that small voice in the back of your head, but none of these articles actually discuss why imposter syndrome exists in the first place, and why it is so commonly felt across society.

No matter how many tips I read on how to deal with imposter syndrome, they never worked. So maybe there is no remedy? Maybe I am just meant to feel like a fraud for the rest of my life. Then I came across this tweet and something clicked in me.


What if we feel like frauds because we have never seen anyone like us doing what we are doing? But then that got me thinking, why don’t we see more people like ourselves in all sorts of positions in society? At the end of the day, the field I entered was never designed for someone like me if anything it was created to exclude almost everyone. So maybe, I wasn’t alone in thinking that imposter syndrome might be about something bigger than myself.

Every article I have come across blames imposter syndrome on the individual. Somehow, it is up to you and you alone to solve this very large problem that has been built into the systems and structures we live in.

Here’s the thing, you are not alone in feeling like an imposter, but it’s also not your fault. The fault should probably lay with the patriarchal structures and institutions we are forced to conform with.
We are scared of being exposed as frauds because the systems we operate in were never created with us in mind. They never wanted us to succeed in the first place. When we step into them, we are going to feel like frauds because it was not designed for us to succeed in any way. The game you play when you engage with the structures and institutions that run our lives has been purposely designed not to include you in it.

As someone who has recently entered a field where it has been characteristically dominated by men, I can immediately tell you that I work every day feeling like an imposter. But it never occurred to me until I read this Tweet that the reason, I am feeling this way isn’t just in my head – its because things were never designed for me or with me in mind, and not just for me personally but for women and non-binary people in general. If you are not a straight white male, then chances are most fields were not created or structured in a way that included you.

All this to say, it is normal to feel and deal with imposter syndrome and there are a lot of resources out there that can help you deal with it internally. But this phenomenon cannot continue to go on ignored because it revolves around a lot more work than journaling or positive thinking. We need to overhaul and change the structures of the institutions we live and work in.

When we start designing a system or structure that everyone can work in, perhaps we can start realizing that imposter syndrome is a much bigger problem than what people feel on an individual level – it is a symptom of a much bigger problem. That problem is largely the patriarchal nature and tendencies that influence every institution that we live in.

Comment below if you have ever felt imposter syndrome — because at the end of the day you are not alone and it is not your fault.

Life is About Creating Yourself

Life is About Creating Yourself

Life is about finding yourself – is it, though?

For years I was caught up in this idea that I had to find myself. I was obsessed with trying to get back to this younger version of myself where I felt had peaked. I spent nights crying myself to sleep because I could not find myself. I spent days aimlessly wandering around trying to find this idealized idea and somehow make it fit into my life. But as we can all guess, that never actually happened. I never “found” myself the way everyone claimed I would. All this made me do was hold onto a past version of myself that no longer aligned with who I was or who I was becoming.

I held onto this idea because that’s all I ever knew. From Pinterest to Instagram to general conversations with friends, we were all led to believe that life was about finding yourself. We thought that one day we would stumble across this version of ourselves we once loved and immediately return to being that person. As I got older, I started to realize that all I was doing was holding myself back from enjoying the present and looking forward to the future – I had planted myself in the past and slowly but surely, I realized that it was not doing anything good for me.

Here’s the thing, life is not about finding yourself. When we ask people to find themselves, what exactly are they looking for? A version of themselves they used to be. It seems odd that the idea of finding ourselves suggest that we can g back to our past selves and embody them when undoubtedly, so much has changed.

So, I propose we change how we understand our life and who we are. Instead of aiming to find yourself, what if we made life about creating ourselves? What if we focused our energy on learning from the past and moving forward? What if we built who we wanted to be every single day?

Life is not about finding yourself. That idea implies that there was a better version of you that existed once upon a time and makes you forget that the best is yet to come. The best is yet to come if you create and build it.

Creating yourself leaves you with endless options of what you can create and who you can become, and those endless possibilities are one of the most beautiful gifts that life has to offer. Focus your energy on creating who you want to become and know that who you are right now is more than enough. Your past does not define you.

Personally, when I started shifting away from the idea of finding myself, I almost felt relieved. I felt like I had gained back some agency in my life like I was finally the one steering the ship. Creating yourself is about doing whatever the heck you want. It is about creating who you want to become and loving yourself in the process. Finding yourself might be great in some circumstances, but you have the option and agency to create who you want to be and the life you want to live.